summer approaches

wow that was a pretty awesome party we went to... spring soul was amazing. people were having a pretty damn good time, and the fire dancers were incredible. i met a girl there, who shall remain nameless, who reminded me of the type of personality i've always been completely jealous of. she had so much positive energy and projected happiness that there's no way that anyone could not be affected by her in a positive way. i've always admired those qualities in a person greatly, and aspire to be that way.

they burned a pretty cool structure they built, and everyone danced to a drumbeat. the entire experience put me in a highly elevated state of mind for about 3 days straight. i was apprehensive about going at first, making up all these reasons why i wouldn't enjoy myself. but instead i had a better time than i have in a long while. the next day we hung out with corey, jess, jessi and eghan's brother. i drank a little bit of shroom tea that steven made (STRONG, i might add), and the sip i took was enough to get a buzz going. i enjoyed it, and felt very refreshed afterwards. it was still partially difficult to handle, but i was there and i was coherent and took a walk with jessi without so much as thinking about panicking. that and the party gave me confidence about some things, and i want to continue that confidence. i was happy for once :)

on sunday, the happiness continued and steven and i had a wonderful day together, and made beautiful love. for the first in a long time, i felt like i could completely submit to him again.. i felt complete trust. later that evening he drank more mushie tea just from being reminded about it, and i got pretty upset that he was so impulsive about it... we still have to work on things. but i am so happy that for a moment we were one again. i have to work on my negativity, and he has to work on his impulsive addictions. but when we're in a state of balance, everything is perfect :)